Muffled directions

How I wish I could read God's mind.
Not to know my future or my life outline. If God could just spray paint what to do on the walls of my mind, life would be a lot easier.

The problem is that He does spray paint it all over my mind, I just don't see clear enough. He shouts it into my heart, I'm just not listening hard enough. He spells out the steps I should take all over his arms, I'm just not willing to be lifted by them, feet off the ground. My heart might be God's but if I'm covering my ears, all I'll hear is muffled directions.

He might break down walls and smash a couple of locks, but a vault is made to last. No key is needed from the inside, just a small step, built up with courage. By the time you're able to push yourself for it, He's broken through your last safe box. Ears will be opened and feet lifted off the ground. Walls will be studied, to find the meaning behind the words spray painted on them.

And He'll be telling you the same all along: "I love you, take my hand. Just look me in the eyes and just trust me. I won't ever let you fall."

Rift Valley Academy..?

My most recent dream, or wish for the years ahead is to attend Rift Valley Academy in Kenya, Africa. I know, where did I ever get this idea? Like I mentioned before, I'd like to follow after my mom's steps through Africa. As a teen, growing up in Tanzania and Kenya, she attended RVA as a boarding student. It helped shape her into the woman she is today. One of my goals is to go to Africa and see where my mom grew up, the life she lived. I think it'd be pretty amazing if I could have the opportunity to board at RVA for a semester or two.

Considering I only have 2 years left in my high school education, I don't have too much time to accomplish this. Next semester, the first semester in my junior year, I'll be with my family on stateside in the US. That leaves me one and a half years to attend RVA. I'd love to spend my first and maybe even second semester of my senior year at RVA, although my parents want me with them for at least 6 months before I graduate.

For some reason, the idea of attending RVA just popped up into my head as I thought of tracing my mother's steps through Africa and Europe. Maybe it's a God thing, maybe I'm just ADD like that, but after thinking quite a while about it, I'm seriously looking at heading off to Kenya for a semester or two. Like I said, safe doesn't get you anywhere and it doesn't let you learn as much and expand your horizons. I want to experience more, and I love my school and all, and I love Colombia, but I'm ready for some new experiences. I'm ready to get out of my comfort zone and to see more of God's creation. To experience and witness God's love for his people elsewhere. Maybe being a missionary kid and moving all the time has really gotten to me. It's become custom, and now my mind is telling me it's time to move on, or just again. I say just again because I don't want to move on from my life here, I want to remember it, treasure it, take it with me through it all, but I'm ready for some change. I don't want small change that is common and an every day occurence or even an annual happening, but I want life changing, time stopping, jaw dropping change.

Maybe I'm just shooting too high once again, but I truly believe it's possible. If it's in God's will for me to go, I'll go. I have to know to not depend on any one plan because God might not have it in mind, so I can't get bummed out if I can't go.

Now I can see God's hand moving more clearly this past year, I can imagine where He's taking me. He's been molding my heart and changing my mind to follow Him. He's been readying me for change. Some major change that I have to be ready for. I have to be able to adapt and take advantage of my new circumstances. Going on stateside assignment is going to be a big change for me, and my way of life, but I know God has something bigger in mind. Something larger that will really change me and glorify Him.

Where should I begin?

Someone recently mentioned they had started blogging about all their experiences and, well, I decided that it'd be a great way to record my adventures and journeys. This is a first time thing for me.. and I just don't know where to start.

I have so many dreams and hopes for the months and years to come. I know I can't depend on any one event, because God might have something else in mind. In these next few years I want to take a little after my mom's life. I want to travel and go on mission trips and experience what God has given us first hand. I know I shoot high, but only because I know that with God anything is possible. My dreams might be overwhelming at first but I know that nothing is impossible and its better to shoot higher than to stay safe. Safe is never fun, never adventurous, and never experiences. To experience, and I mean really truly experience life and culture to the very core, we must step out of our comfort zone and push for more. To know more, to feel more, to see more, to learn more.

I'll share what I plan and hope for, I'll document the realization of these dreams, and I'll learn every step of the way.